Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
All the creatures were stirring, even Harry Reid the louse.
The earmarks were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Barry soon would be there.
The progressives were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And Pelosi with her Botox, perched high on Rahm's lap,
Had long ago lost their brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the Mall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a small motorcade with a stretch limo in the rear.
With a single lone passenger, so powerful and scary,
I knew in a moment it must be St Barry.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Durbin! now, Boxer! now, Feinstein and Harkin!
On, Conrad! On, Baucus! On, Schumer and Al Franken!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now pass away! pass away! pass away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, they bribed on the sly.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Entitlements, and St Barry too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and cawing of each little goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Barry came with a bound.
He was dressed in Armani, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were not tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of new Taxes he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
He was not chubby or plump, a big eared young elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He emptied our savings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
After flipping me the bird, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang toward the Capitol, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew leaving me in a pickle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Government Healthcare for all, and to hell with the Right!"
All the creatures were stirring, even Harry Reid the louse.
The earmarks were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Barry soon would be there.
The progressives were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And Pelosi with her Botox, perched high on Rahm's lap,
Had long ago lost their brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the Mall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a small motorcade with a stretch limo in the rear.
With a single lone passenger, so powerful and scary,
I knew in a moment it must be St Barry.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Durbin! now, Boxer! now, Feinstein and Harkin!
On, Conrad! On, Baucus! On, Schumer and Al Franken!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now pass away! pass away! pass away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, they bribed on the sly.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Entitlements, and St Barry too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and cawing of each little goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Barry came with a bound.
He was dressed in Armani, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were not tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of new Taxes he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
He was not chubby or plump, a big eared young elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He emptied our savings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
After flipping me the bird, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang toward the Capitol, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew leaving me in a pickle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Government Healthcare for all, and to hell with the Right!"
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